Reflection of the Summer Solstice

I've been wanting to take time for myself. 

On this journey - I'm on it, I'm on the train, I'm riding the wave - but it's been passing so quickly, happening so fast, I haven't taken a breath in a while. Maybe not at all yet.

Today is the Summer Solstice. A special day in the Gemini season that I believe is something to celebrate.

A.I. shared a wonderful quote I thought was perfect for the occasion

🌻 Grounded & Reflective

“The solstice is nature’s reminder to slow down, take stock of how far we’ve come, and embrace the light we carry forward.”

That is exactly what I have been needing to do. To take stock of my journey, how far I've come, and what it truly means to embrace the light I am carrying forward on my path.

I got a chance to do that today.

After a quick, but fulfilling day at the beach down the Cape with my mom, aunt, niece and nephew, I came home and decided to decompress out of my back porch - on the new patio set my parents generously gifted to me for my recent birthday. 

I sat with myself, in the sun, listening to the nature surrounding me in my backyard - the birds, the breeze, the leaves of the trees, the cars going by in the distance. I felt the air, breathed it in. I noticed my skin on the chair cushion and let myself sink into it, just thinking about this exact moment. Nothing else going on, but just being here with myself. Reflecting on all that has happened, all that has come, how far I have come. 

I am truly not in the place I was before March. Not in the darkness. I am in the light. I am living through the light. A place of gratitude and blessings. A place of appreciation and love. A place of anticipation.

And then the patience.... and I thought to myself

"Can there be patience without faith? Faith without courage? Are they intertwined?"

They certainly seem to be in my mind. This journey, this momentum, this shift. It asks a lot. It takes a lot. It's not easy, it's not been without struggle. Learning to trust, to be patient... that's been the most difficult. 

What does it take to have the patience and trust to live in the light? To stray into the unknown.

There must be faith. There must be strength, courage, determination.

I'm in a space - an in-between - where the mind wants milestones, but the heart wants meaning.

I've had some milestones, but the stillness and slowness still seems wrong and uncomfortable. I'm not used to it. There is still some guilt there. Worthiness comes into question. But then I know that I am worth all the blessings that I am meant to receive. The love and light are my destiny. 

But.. the unknown... The letting go.. the TRUST. 

I am learning to trust without proof.

To move without a map.

To open my hands, even when they're trembling.

On the journey of awakening, of becoming, there is an internal battle - of unworthiness. The fear that failure will prove them all right. The part of me that once felt like my worth was conditional - based on performance, perfection, obedience, productivity. 

But that is no longer who I am. I'm still here, I'm still walking, I'm still becoming. Proof that the old stories, while powerful, don't have the final word.

I keep here I'm exactly where I need to be.

I'm in the chrysalis. The becoming. The in-between. Where the old self is dissolving and the new self hasn't fully emerged. And that in-between space can feel like hell - or hallowed ground - depending on how gently I treat myself within this space. 

I don't need to silence the unworthiness. I need to witness it. To hold it with compassion to say:  I hear you. I know you're scared. But you don't live in the space anymore."

While I soaked in the sun, the stillness, the reflecting, I had the urge to revisit my experience with Mary Obana - an Intuitive Guide, Awakening Coach, and Spiritual Teacher - who shared a beautiful and impactful spiritual guidance session with me back in April. She has sent me the recording, encouraging me to listen every now and again to the messages that were given to me.

It's incredible listening back now and how much the messages truly resonate with my journey. TRUST was the most powerful message that was spoken to me during the experience. How important TURSTING in my path will be. Letting go of the control. Trusting and knowing that I am filled with and surrounded by so much love and light. 

It meant even more now listening back on the messages. Because they are so true. It is my biggest struggle. But there is no turning back. There is no closing the door that I have opened. My path is unfolding exactly how it should and how it was divinely meant to do. 

To not look back into the old feelings and self, but to appreciate what I had to experience to appreciate and come to the awakening that I am now in. Out of the darkness, into the light.

That continued light, IS courage. That continued perseverance IS faith. The stillness IS patience. But it is within me, it always has been.

And what could be more perfect than receiving my final days affirmation😂💫🙏