In It.

 What is the right way to think? "There is no wrong way" What is going on physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally?

Is there something I can blame for the current reality I exist in? What would that do for me if I did find that something to blame? 

Fixing it? What is "it"? And why do I need to fix it? Is it a lesson? Multiple lessons? As humans we tend to look externally to give us internal satisfaction. I can look 

My brain is My mind? The ego trying? My internal dialogue

Dysregulated

Discombobulated

I am so focused on all the negative frustrations that are seemingly surrounding my experience currently, I cant seem to get out of it, each week more frustrations or slow going.

I have no answers, I can just exist in my current reality. 

That is me. Currently. Really truly is a perfect visual. So many corners and hidden exciting things, but there is a desire to get to that opening of light through all of the noise.

Doesnt have to be noise - theres so many pockets of meaning in that chaos. Its all supposed to be there and its comforting to a degree. It makes me who I am - some days are just a lot harder to navigate through it all than others.

There is so much I want to do and learn and explore and fill myself up with. So much of myself that I want to give in certain areas that I feel intrigued by. 

I think I will go listen to some Alan Watts.